Nathan Taylor
English 2x, Per 4
Mrs. Parker
29/5/05
Balance
In The Alchemist, an old man tells the main character,
Santiago, a story about a boy seeking happiness. In the story, the boy
goes to a wise man and asks him what the secret of happiness is. The
man is busy, though, and tells the boy to go look at his palace, giving
the boy a spoon full of oil to carry with him. The boy wanders around
the wise man’s palace, yet does not see any of the beautiful gardens
and tapestries. He comes back and the wise man tells him to go back
out, this time to look at the finery of his palace. The boy must still
carry the spoon of oil, however, and he spills it when he sees the
beauty of the wise man’s palace. This time when the boy comes back, the
wise man tells him the secret of happiness: to see the wonders of the
world, yet never give up carrying your spoon of oil, your duty.
Santiago reflects “A shepherd may like to travel, but he should never
forget about his sheep”, you can have fun, just keep fulfilling your
responsibilities.
When I first read that story, I thought about my own experiences
with duty and enjoyment. I thought about schoolwork, my main
responsibility and for me my most difficult responsibility. Homework is
generally very orderly, repetitious work. Most of it is very boring and
monotonous for me. I would rather do something more open and creative,
like reading a book. Because of this I have had trouble doing it
regularly, instead of just when my grades start to drop. Sometimes,
when I had not been doing any homework, I have felt almost worthless; I
would reflect on my recent achievements and find they were none. I
would feel like I was not doing anything for anyone, not even myself.
My actions went to nothing, I made no accomplishments. Now, I can say I
had no sense of duty. After I actually do my homework, though, I feel
good doing things afterward, knowing I have done all I need to do. I
always feel content and happy, knowing I have nothing left to do. It
makes everything clearer when there are no left-behind obligations
nagging at you from below. Happiness follows when I am able to carry
the oil-spoon of homework and still have fun doing other things.
After I complete my homework, I often go for a walk. When I go
walking, I have it as my responsibility to walk my dogs with me.
Usually, I would much rather walk without them because they run
everywhere, then stop and run in a different direction, while I like to
go at a more relaxed pace and generally straight ahead. They need to
get out, however; I am the only one who walks them and I don’t do it
hardly enough. Starting off a walk, it is not that bad because the dogs
have not gotten tangled up yet. At this point I am energetic, well
rested and calm. By the middle of the long walks I do, I start to get
tired, both physically from the walking and mentally from maintaining
the dogs constantly. By the end I am fairly exhausted. Sometimes when I
come home, however, I feel good knowing I helped them to find some
temporary freedom. But it is hard to enjoy myself in the woods while
still keeping them from getting tangled up with each other and keeping
them in line. I get frustrated having to untangle them all the time. I
must walk them, however. To keep them at home denies them enjoyment and
freedom. I feel guilty leaving my dogs at home for me to go out alone.
Likewise, I feel good sometimes after walking them, knowing I benefited
something other than myself. The key to happiness here is balancing my
own freedom with my dogs’ freedom; to enjoy walking in the woods while
taking the dogs with me so they can enjoy walking too. I cannot just
follow pure pleasure and convenience, because when I come home the dogs
remind me that I have forgotten them.
Often, instead of walking, I find myself racing other people
through the woods, for school sports. There are some beautiful views
out there, some beautiful landscapes, yet I am racing through them,
affected by the almost panicked crowd of people competing. It would be
no good to race through, my only care to run faster than those around
me. I would later be disappointed that I did not see any of the pretty
things out there. But I cannot simply stop and enjoy the views for a
while as my competitors and teammates pass by. I am in a race, after
all. My teammates rely on me for the sake of the team, to get points
and win awards. Of course, I want to do well too; it is just that I
could easily sacrifice one of my races for a beautiful view. To simply
sit and look at the view, though, to be completely unconcerned and
spontaneous, makes me feel bad later, especially for letting down the
team. Yet racing ahead, restraining from the pleasure of the views
leaves me feeling empty and disappointed that I saw none of the glory
of nature. The only option you have is to slow down a bit for the views
and at beautiful spots, yet keep racing, keep holding the spoon of oil.
Duty and enjoyment must always come along with each other. They
must mesh together, your spoon-carrying and seeing the beautiful
tapestries, so you are left with both a feeling of accomplishment and a
feeling of wonder. Simple duty, working all the time without seeing the
beauty around you, leaves you empty, not satisfied; simple Enjoyment,
just having fun all the time, is usually thwarted by unfinished duty,
and often comes to a sudden crash when duty catches up to your fun.
After thinking about these things, duty and enjoyment, it suddenly
occurred to me that they were quite similar to Apollonian and Dionysian
aspects of humanity, respectively. Then I realized once again that
Apollonian versus Dionysian characteristics are simply specifications
of the universal dichotomy: Female versus Male, or Sun versus moon; two
opposites fuelling the world by their repelling each other. The forces
between them turn to energy which moves things, like how the moon moves
the sea by the forces between them. People must learn to balance the
two repelling sides so that their forces within can bring them to
contentment. In order to find this true happiness, you must
balance the opposing masculinity and femininity, Apollonian and
Dionysian, right-brain and left-brain. The secret of happiness is to
have a balance throughout yourself, so that the two opposites repelling
within you can move you forward.